What does self-control, Emotional Intelligence and Bullies have in common. Emotional self-control(one of the seven attributes of EI) is a very interesting necessity in being successful in school/business/relationships. When we are out of control, it doesn’t always mean that we are angry or raging. It means that we are making choices that do not serve our well being that create inner/outer chaos. It can be yelling at traffic, excess of anything, addictive behaviors, over extension of activities, etc.
But lack of self-control begins in childhood. How we learn to self-soothe and calm ourselves down when we are confronted with negative situations as children extends into adulthood only the issues are more extensive and have rippling effects.
Bullies learn about lack of self-control at home and from their peers. They model what they see and experience. They then go out and do the same to others to make them feel better. Yes, this is how bullies self-soothe and displace their own feelings of inadequacy. We can learn to self-soothe so easily. Positive self-talk and affirmation will calm angry, achy feelings in moments! Give it a try! Then teach it!