Bully voices run through your child’s head. They don’t tell you but they are there. Where did they hear them? They heard them from teachers, peers, daycare providers, and even from you, mom and dad! How do they sound? “That is stupid.” “Can’t you ever get it right?” And as some women in a dress shop said to me recently, “That makes you rear end look big.” And I had just lost 70lbs. And my bully voice from age 7 reared it’s ugly head for just a split second until I handled it. If not, I would not have been proud of the 70lbs. One voice would have made it not enough.
And how do these bully messages or bad voices translate in our heads, “I am stupid, I am not good enough, I am a loser. play in their unconscious minds showing up in ways that tell us they are there and running the show. How do children react to these voices. They spend time alone and withdrawn. They overeat and use food for comfort. They model what parents do when their bully voices take hold.
We can help them stop those voices dead in their tracks. We can change the course of generational passing on of behaviors and habits that influence who they will become. It is easier with children. The baggage is newer and less ingrained. Children are more resilient and more open to new ideas especially if they are supported by their parents and loved ones. How do we stop those voices! It is actually so easy and for children it will become second nature. Every time one of those voices rears its ugly noise in their heads, they replace them with a positive one, “a happy thought.” Make a game out of practicing those “happy thoughts” with them. “I am smart. I am good. I am happy. These messages always start with the word, “I”. Great car activity, even sing them!
Parents, take on the bully voices in your head too. These voices are powerful and victimize! I know that you do not want your children to have the same approach to life’s challenges, the inner battles or the poor self-esteem they create. You love them too much and this works!
The most daunting part of this, is only your children can do this, not you, not their teachers, not their friends, or the food and feel sorry gifts. And yet, the feelings inside them of powerful, strong, happy will rock their world and yours. It promises you and them a life worth living!